Hot Take
Stop Calling It 'Self-Care' When It's Just Spending
Not every purchase is a wellness practice. Some of them are just purchases.
The Unhinged Column · 2026-08-25
Somewhere along the way, "self-care" stopped meaning rest, boundaries, or actual maintenance, and started meaning any purchase you'd like to be exempt from questioning. That's a relabeling exercise, not a wellness practice.
The tell is simple: would you still call it self-care without the transaction attached? A walk is self-care with or without spending a dollar. A candle is not self-care because it's a candle, it's self-care because calling it that makes the purchase feel justified before anyone, including you, gets to ask whether it was worth it.
This isn't an argument against spending on yourself. It's an argument against using a wellness word to end a conversation that a plain word like "spending" would have kept open. One of those labels invites scrutiny. The other one is specifically designed not to.
Buy the thing if you want the thing. Just don't dress it up as maintenance when what it actually is is a purchase, because the dressing up is exactly what stops you from noticing a pattern if one is forming.
Examine the purchase, not just the label. Join the list.
The Actual Questions
Is it wrong to spend money on yourself?
No. The issue isn't the spending, it's relabeling ordinary spending as a wellness practice so it feels exempt from scrutiny.
How do you tell the difference between real self-care and relabeled spending?
Ask if you would still call it that without the purchase attached. If the "self-care" only exists when money changes hands, it is probably just spending.
Why does the label matter if the money is spent either way?
Because the label changes whether you examine the decision. "Self-care" tends to end the conversation. "Spending" invites the question of whether it was worth it.